One of the last times I saw my good friend, the lovely and talented
Trae, I was in Worcester, Mass. It was February and I was covering a
Killswitch Engage and DragonForce show in Worcester on Friday and then heading off to Boston for an early evening show featuring the same bands at a club across the street from Fenway Park, the name of which I can't recall. Yes, it was so close to Fenway I could touch the storied ballpark! It was freezing New England weather and after Trae and I spilled out into the parking lot from the backstage door after the show, she offered to give me a ride to my hotel down the block. Granted, it was a short, three-block walk, but it was late and did I mention, freezing effing cold? It also provided us with more time to chat, since we didn't see each other and have quality face time as often as I'd have liked! We sat in her vehicle, as she warmed it up. We talked, as she was getting ready to move to California. I knew I'd miss her, since I made about three to four trips to the Worcester area each year for work and we always got to hang when I did, but was happy to see her make this move. Little did I know, the great Golden State would become a huge part of my life, via a long distance relationship that I would embark on in five short months. I didn't know what lay ahead of me, but in hindsight, wonderful, life-affirming things were coming. While we chatted, Trae and I laughed about our New England Metal Fest memories, how much we enjoyed Killswitch that night and how clouds formed in her car as we spoke, because, you know, of that cold air!
Fast forward to December 2009. Been chatting with Trae about my recent heart troubles, which tend to dominate, especially since every year, I would head to Cali the Thursday before Christmas the past few years to enjoy several days in the company of the person who was my best friend and who I loved deeply as marrow. So needless to say, this week has been brutal for me, because I am not going to be where I want to be. And it fucking sucks. To help me combat and see past some of the ache, Trae sent me lyrics to the song "The Patient" by
Tool, along with a YouTube clip of the song. As I read the lyrics on my handheld Blackberry in a cab, I was touched by how this song, which appears on 2001's
Lateralus, which is not my favorite Tool record, but then again, it's Tool, so it's still brilliance and there are always levels of discovery in this band's music, especially their most percussive album. The lyrics, along with the serpentine beat, speak to me, in such a way that it's as though
Maynard James Keenan was inspired by journal entries.
Rather than explain why they speak to me, I am cutting and pasting them within the confines of this column, so that you, dear reader, can wrap your heads around them and absorb them as you wish or see fit.
The point of my pontification is that my frienship with Trae was born out of the music business, since we knew the same people and dealt with the same bands. But beyond hanging at a show and talking about a show we had just seen and being colleagues and associates, things are obviously much more of a true friendship and that's illuminated by the sharing of a song that I may have slept on a little - since with Tool, there is such an embarrassment of riches - via email, because she knew I needed a lift, again reiterates something that I often espouse in this column. Music connects people. It saves people. It's something we share and we survive with and because of. It's a gift that keeps on giving, from a friend. Music is the universal language spoken with and by friends.
The lyrics are below. I share them as I hope that they are a gift to someone else, that they may soothe or heal someone else. Since that is what they are supposed to do. ~
Amy Maria Sciarretto"A groan of tedium escapes me,startling the fearful.Is this a test? It has to be. Otherwise I can't go on.Draining patience, drain vitality.This paranoid, paralyzed vampire acts a little old.
But I'm still right here,giving blood and keeping faith.And I'm still right here.
But I'm still right here,giving blood and keeping faith.And I'm still right here.
Wait it out...I'm gonna wait it out.Wait it out.
If there were no rewards to reap,no embrace to see me through,this tedious path I've chosen here,I certainly would've walked away, by now.
Gonna wait it out
If there were no desire to heal,The damaged and broken met alongthis tedious path I've chosen here,I certainly would've walked away, by now.
And I still may... And I still may...
Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this..
If there were no rewards to reap,No embrace to see me through,this tedious path I've chosen here,I certainly would've walked away by now.And I still may, and I still may, and I still may, and I may...
Gonna wait it out.Gonna wait it out.Wait it out." 