'Retto Ruminations
By: Amy Sciarretto
Last updated May 20th , 2010

I often ruminate here - hence, "Retto's Rumination" as the title of this column - on how we've all become slaves to the digital realm. That we have electronic handcuffs in the form of Smart phones like Blackberries, iPhones, Palm Pres and any other assorted gadgets that allow us instant access to information, our friends and families and those we elect to talk to. I decided to spend the entire weekend with my new puppy Higgins, who is fostering at my dad's, who has no Internet connection anymore. He got a virus on his Dell computer a few years ago, so he doesn't have the need for a wireless router or even the web. I could pull out a phone cord and plug it into the phone, but I'm probably nixing that option to head over the Starbucks or Panera Bread for a snack to borrow their free wireless while I nibble and while Higgs naps in the new fluffy bed I bought for him. Since the Flyers won the seventh game of the semi-finals and are playing in the conference finals, which starts Sunday night when I am writing this, I am going to stay here longer to spend more time with the puppy and be around hockey playoff atmosphere while it's at blazing levels in Philly. 

I made this plan in my head, while I was connectivity-free and even though I have my handheld, which I am still receiving emails at, I for some reason cannot connect to my mobile Facebook app and it started to frustrate me and I realized that it shouldn't. I can deal with this tomorrow, when I am at the office or at my house. It's not crucial that I check or update Facebook every couple of hours, even though I do enjoy mobile uploads of photos of Higgins, which everyone comments on since he is the cutest dog in the universe and to ever exist! Spoken like a true mom, right? But what I found myself having to train myself against were my thoughts. Should I head home – a mere hour-and-a-half drive north up the New Jersey Turnpike- to clean out my inbox from three days of overload since my Blackberry never synchs with my main inbox in terms of storage and deletion? Should I go home so I can finish my work as I do on Sunday afternoons? No, I shouldn't. I told myself, Amy, step away from the screen. Realize you can do your work through MS Word and then just email it to yourself later. I joke that I am a slave to technology. Now I realize that it is no joke, that I should not be making decisions based on a WiFi connection. I can sit here and review the latest As I Lay Dying Record and shore up my Peter Frampton – yes, that Peter Frampton, who I must say is quite pleasant and has the best British sense of humor, ever!- or work on my piece on D12's Bizarre for a tattoo magazine without even connecting to the web. I have to get over my idea that I need to have access to information on the weekends, which were meant for rest.

I think that getting Higgins was the best decision I ever made. He is a Rolls Royce so I can't be putting donut tires on him, you know? In the puppy stage, as I am reading a Cesar Milan training book, which yes, takes time away from the Ozzy bio I am still not done with and from the Seth Godin books which I am trying to digest and apply, he needs the constant care, attention and love that I got him for. It's his world; my job is to fill it with love and to pay for it, which I am happy to do, because of the happiness he gives me when he plops down in my lap and lays his head on my tummy. It makes me realize that it is okay to step away from work. It's okay to not be connected 24/7. I have to train my thinking. I mean, jeez, back in 1999, I didn't check my email on weekends unless it was my AOL account. Now I check all five or six of my email accounts, what, every two minutes? I have to learn to hit the "off" button. 

I know that many of you out there probably grapple with the same thing. I have made the choice to work on the side and to write for multiple outlets and I will never stop that. But I/we shouldn't question our own dedication when we want to take a minute off! 

A few weeks ago, I was working on some freelance work on a rainy Sunday in my condo, when zzzzzttttttt. The wireless card on my laptop, which I've abused for the past three years, burnt out. I could not fix it. I had to run to Best Buy and buy a wireless adapter which looks like a USB stick, but it works fine. But for that day that I had to physically plug into my wireless router in my bedroom, meaning that I had to work on my bed, I was completely frazzled and frantic. Then I stopped, telling myself, The work will get done. This is temporary. Being connected 24/7 is not necessary, since you are practically connected 25/8. I had to train my tattered brain to think that taking a step back is okay. That going for a walk outside is perfectly acceptable, and that leaving my Blackberry on the coffee table is okay too...although I did slip it in my pocket since I wanted the phone option in case of an emergency! Neuroticism, I tell you.

So I decided that today, after I snack at Panera, clean out my inbox, email some shizzy to myself and before I head back to my dad's to play with Higgins and to watch playoff hockey, I'm going to head over to a record store. I'm going walk the aisles, like I used to as a kid in college. I'm going to try and reconnect with old behaviors and things I loved doing. I went and saw Ratt last Saturday night at the TLA in Philly, which is on South Street, a formerly awesome strip of unique, hip stores that you couldn't get a the local mall. I didn't mention this prior, simply because I wanted to properly reflect on it. I used to roam up and down in the early to mid '90s with my college sweetheart, and we'd get records and CDs and posters and t-shirts and all the cool shit that South Street had to offer. In 2010, many of our fave haunts are long gone, replaced by stuff you can find at the mall. Ugh. It is no longer cool anymore. But when I was parking, I did drive past the Philadelphia Record Exchange. I  remembered many vinyl releases I bought there, some of which I may unload on eBay simply for space issues and the facts that I am not of a collector mentality as much as I used to be and that there may be someone out there who appreciate it more than I do and who may be looking for these particular releases that I have? Anyway, I maneuvered into a nearby parking lot, walked past the store on my way to the show –how about that, stopping by a record store on my way to a show? I felt 17 again!- and just ran my fingers over the releases, and inhaled the smells of the store. It was a musty, "old" smell, but it was also a scent that translated to "lived in." 

There's a lot of life in physical, actual, tangible items. There's history. There's a past. There's also a future in it. You don't get that with a download. The only tactile experience one can have when music is iPod only is the sensation of spinning the device click wheel.  I like to touch the actual sleeve. The plastic. The item. But I am changing with the times, and giving up the physical for the space saver.

It reminded me that this week, I am giving up the 'connection' online in exchange for the real world, what's out there. The physical. The tangible. The touchable. I know I got to this point in a very roundabout way, but I still got there.

So my advice to you this week? Power down for a few hours. Take a walk. Play with your pet. Or your nieces and nephews. Be unavailable to your technology for a few. Take a deep breath. Despite the stressful way it makes me feel – so thank god for the chiropractor appointment on Monday night- I am going to let go for a few. It should feel very freeing. Because God knows, tomorrow, it's back to all connected, all of the time. ~ Amy Sciarretto

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