Matt Bjorke On Music Criticism
By: Matt Bjorke
Last updated August 14th , 2009

I originally had written a column all about how I was perplexed at how other people who get paid to write about music (like me) often write from an ivory tower of callous snarkiness and backhanded compliments. Then, upon thinking about it for a day, I've decided instead to not really worry about that stuff. Why should I really care how some other reviewer writes about the music I love? Sure they can continue down their cold-hearted path.  

Is writing like that really going to make them happy? Probably for a little bit...then they'll grow cold and need to write another review, like a junkie needing their fix.

Do they really think that writing like this is constructive? Yes, they do.  

They think that by pointing out the many faults about a song that surely some songwriter or record company or somebody will heed their advice and start writing all this profound shit that's not gonna be listened to that many people, because people want to escape.  People may be fed the mainstream, but they like it. They really do. And it's not because they don't like some of that ‘profound shit' that these holier-than-thou writer types are writing about.  They just like the mainstream.

They do. That's why it's called the Mainstream. It's not called left-of-Centerville or "Backhanded Compliments 'R Us" or critic-approved shit the don't really want to like or play.    

Oh, they'll use the ‘but people like McDonalds' analogy to try and yell me down like some republican-paid robot at a democratic health care reform town hall meeting, but I will hold my ground. 

This is that kind of writer that we're dealing with. One who thinks that their opinions are the only ones that matter and that their reasoning is the only reasoning there is.  

It's one thing to want to point out what one doesn't like about something but to constantly do it about a genre they profess to love is tiresome. Why don't they just pack-up and move on? 

Oh, that's right; they're getting paid to be callous and snarky. I forgot. They have to write something clever to get a few likeminded talking heads to agree with them, not unlike what we see on ALL the TV networks. 

Look, I am all for honest opinions about stuff and true criticism. It does have a place but writing epic three-page criticisms about a "three minute not to positive up-tempo country love song" is not exactly the same as writing an epic op-ed about something truly worth arguing about, like say the economy or true health-care reform. It's not rocket science. It's just a simple little goofy song.

The same criticism goes for me too. After all, this column is just as bad as their epic criticisms of the latest Lost Trailers single, only I'm writing about them. So, rather than write a whole tome about my aversion to some of my colleagues' (and I use this term loosely) writing styles, I bid you adieu as I climb back up into my glass-half-full ivory tower in George Bush's internets.  

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