Pop Shots
Replacing Stale Pop Tarts
By: Adam Bernard
Last updated February 24th , 2010

Welcome to your weekly dose of pop world musings. This week Pop Shots is hitting you with a theme based column that's all about pop tarts. Not the kind you eat, but the kind you listen to.

Back in 1999 there was an explosion of blonde haired teen pop stars that was led by a former Mousketeer named Britney Spears. Her debut single, "...Baby One More Time," became a landmark song and as soon as it blew up the record industry was ready to trot out any clone they could find. The scene became flooded with blond pop tarts, some talented, some not so much so. Unfortunately for those singers, Pop Tarts tend to go stale fairly quickly, and now that it's been a little over a decade most of them have seen their time pass. That's why this week I'm strolling through the music industry's breakfast aisle, taking a look at which acts have replaced the pop tarts that are no longer quite as tasty.

Pop Tart: Britney Spears - Britney was the female face of pop music for quite a few years. She was the first, and still only, female artist in the Neilsen Soundscan era to have her first four albums debut at number one on Billboard's album chart. Every song she released became a hit until she became a train wreck. She's still churning out songs today, but he career is a shell of what it used to be. Two failed marriages, motherhood, and the overtly sexual nature of her lyrics, have distanced her from her innocent teen pop roots, and although no one can stay a teenager forever, teen pop stars lose their relevancy as soon as they lose that aura of innocence.

Replacement: Taylor Swift - No one does teen innocence better than Taylor Swift, and much like Britney, nobody sells records like her either. Swift also has a few things going for her that Britney could never claim; she has a fantastic voice and she writes her own lyrics. An on-stage incident at an award's show involving Kanye West in 2009 only worked to further her good girl, perfect little sister, image. She's everything people want in a teen pop star (despite her age no longer being in the teens).


Pop Tart: Christina Aguilera - With lyrics that were just a little more suggestive, Christina started out as the less tame version of Britney. Then, almost as a response to attacks on Britney's vocal skills, or lack there of, Christina was hailed as the best voice in pop. Shortly after that she went into full on slut mode before switching to making an attempt to showcase herself as an adult artist. The point with Christina, however, was always her pipes. When she wanted to she could blow nearly every other pop female off the face of the earth.

Replacement: Carrie Underwood - You want a big voice? Carrie Underwood fits that bill. The former American Idol winner can sing just about anything and managed to make country music with pop sensibilities mainstream enough to open the door for Taylor Swift to make her entrance. There's no denying Underwood's abilities and thankfully there also seems to be very little chance she'll go the slut route anytime soon ... like ever.


Pop Tart: Jessica Simpson - Poor Jessica Simpson. The girl with the big voice who always played third fiddle to the "Britney or Christina" argument. Her attempts to fit into the mainstream were sometimes pretty cliched, and sometimes a few months, or years, too late, but you always kinda knew the girl had some vocal skills. Jessica was probably more suited for country, which she tried later in her career, but by that time she already had the pop star image and couldn't shake it.

Replacement: Kelly Clarkson - Poor Kelly Clarkson. The girl with the big voice who always plays second fiddle to just about every female pop star. Clarkson seems to be a lot of people's SECOND favorite female pop singer. The fact of the matter is the girl has a huge voice, can really sing, and probably would be better suited singing a different genre of music, perhaps blues, or soulful rock. Unlike Jessica, I think Clarkson might still be able to make that transition later in her career.


Pop Tart: Mandy Moore - As a singer and an actress, Mandy Moore was always the girl that was a bit of an afterthought. Wanting her talent to shine rather than he midriff, Mandy ended up being the really cool girl next door the guys pass over because they're obsessed with the school slut. Acting-wise I will always associate her with her role on Entourage, where she broke Vinnie Chase's hear t... TWICE!

Replacement: Selena Gomez - This could have been Miley Cyrus' role if it wasn't for her pole dancing extravaganza at the Teen Choice Awards in 2009, but now it seems like Selena Gomez is the perfect fit. The Disney star known most for her starring role on Wizards of Waverly Place released an album in the fall of '09 to moderate success, so she's playing both the acting and the singing angles, much like Mandy did. Selena's biggest hurdle is that unlike Mandy, who was the good girl in a scene full of girls gone wild, she's in a scene where the top stars are good girls, as well.


Pop Tart: Willa Ford - Willa Ford was the pop tart that went stale before you even opened the package. She tried very hard to be the bad girl alternative in pop music at a time when a bevy of already established female singers were turning bad themselves. She ended up with one moderate hit, "I Wanna Be Bad," which featured an extremely curious cameo by Royce da 5'9", but her second album was shelved and she hasn't been heard from musically since.

Replacement: Ke$ha - Although she's already seen more success than Willa, Ke$ha has clearly positioned herself as the bad girl of pop. Unlike Willa, Ke$ha is doing this at a time when the scene is filled with mostly good girls, so it makes her look original. No matter how good this pop tart may taste right now, however, the clubber girl persona isn't one that can last very long, so don't count on a long shelf life for Ke$ha.

And with that, my time is up for the week. I hope you enjoyed this special edition of Pop Shots. You know I'll be back next week with more shots on all things pop.

[Tags] POP

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